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 PUB PET HATES

There seem to be two new fads that seem to be creeping into the pub lifestyle that I find abhorrent.

The first is one that I have seen a number of times now, in the Silver Cross in Whitehall and the Dial Arch in Woolwich, and one or two other touristy pubs. This is the totally non-British way of getting served at the bar by standing in a queue waiting for the person in front to leave the bar before the next customer goes up to be served.

It seems to be done mainly by tourists than locals, but it has to stop. I have to call out this kind of thing before it starts getting normalised.

The British will queue for almost everything, from waiting for a bus (while the foreigners jump the queue and push in) to waiting in line at the post office, or waiting in line for just about any service you can think of. It shows a sign of respect and fairness.

There is one exception to this British rule and that is when we are waiting to get served at the bar of a pub. Up until this new fad crept in there were no single lines in a pub perpendicular to the bar.

The rules and etiquette of getting served at the bar in Britain have been the same for hundreds of years and served us well.

First you find a space at the bar. Yes there may be a few arrogant arseholes who like to sit at the bar and hog the bar space the whole night. You simply ask them  if you can get to the bar and usually that will do.

When you have access to the bar either hold up a tenner or twenty pound note to indicate you want serving or make eye contact or gesture to the barman to indicate service is wanted.

If the person next to you has been waiting longer than you, it is the polite and correct thing to do and ask the barman to serve them first. It shows you have manners.

It should be noted that some bar staff are a bit peeved off with this new queueing lark as well, and some have resorted to putting up signs asking people to not queue but simply step up to the bar instead.

Really good and  experienced bar staff you will find can multitask and will ask you what you want while still pulling the pints for the people that they have just served before you. This can be problematic when people are queuing up as it slows down the serving flow.

The other irritating fad that seems to be creeping in from America is the bar staff of certain pub chains expecting a tip every time I buy a drink or round at the bar with my card or phone.

If the staff, like in many continental countries came to our table asked us what we would like to drink and brought the drinks in a friendly and efficient manner to our table, then yes I would gladly give the staff a tip.

But George or Fred behind the bar pulling a pint as he is expected to do in his job description then no , he will not be getting a tip from me.

I even had a barman at a fancy high end Piccadilly hotel automatically add his tip onto a bill that I was given even though I had ordered all the drinks at the bar and was standing at the bar. I made him remove the tip from the bill.

In the States a Barman’s tip is expected as the wages due to employer exploitation and next to no labour protection laws. Their basic wages are shit and the pathetic $7.25 minimum wage that has not changed in decades, so without their tips they would not be able to survive.

In Britain we have a decent minimum wage and other benefits that their American counterparts cannot claim. There is no need to start bringing in a tipping culture into Britain.

If your old dad or granddad was asked for a tip by the barman to pull a pint years ago  he would have been telling the barman in no uncertain terms where to go, or be up before the magistrates for punching out a barman.

The price of a pint at present  is astronomical compared to just a decade ago, so the publican or landlord is getting generously reimbursed for the pint he is serving. There is no need or justification for tipping at the bar, unless you are being waited upon. The Landlord should be paying his staff accordingly unless he is of the greedy and exploitative type but that is a thing the employee should be sorting out with the employer, not expecting me to top up his wages.

Under no circumstance should we allow our pubs to be Americanised in this way. American employers have got away with treating their workers like shit, with exploitative labour laws that always benefit the employers, and slave wage rates that are as low as the employer can get away with. Thanks to EU workers rights and labour laws tipping for everything must not become the norm here.

I have also seen a separate card reader in some establishments at the end of the bar, or a jar of tips for the barman or barmaid. I have no problem giving a few quid in this way to the bar staff, if they give exceptional service or engage you in pleasant conversation or in some way makes your visit a nice experience. That saying, don’t expect a tip if you are a miserable barman making me feel like I’m putting you out or making me wait ages to get served at the bar.

What do you think? Give a comment in the comment box below.